My Day

So for a boring day it's been...not so boring?

Yesterday I was exhausted, so I went to bed early and was asleep before 11. That never happens! I didn't know I even had the ability to go to bed that early!! Well before I got to bed early I decided to leap into bed..but I misjudged the distance between me and the bed and I missed, hitting the wall with my leg and arm and over extending the other trying to catch myself. So I was in a lot of pain and I had to take a couple advils haha. But after that sleep was smooth sailing.
So this morning I woke up at 6:30, which is also a time I don't usually see. But I didn't need to be up for another couple hours. And though part of my felt rested I was still so exhausted so I just laid there with Missy (who snored in my ear for the next hour haha). When I got up, I started to get ready, and as always no matter what I do I end up running late. So I throw on this new shirt mom got me. It actually fit! So I was brushing my hair and low and behold this had to be cheap fabric and the brush snagged it and it ripped! So I was thinking oh great now I have to find another shirt that fits...so I went to grab on I knew fit and I started to put it on and I noticed it had a hole too! I was so upset! You see I've been struggling with me weight....well my whole life. When I was dancing in fourth grade I thought I was fat and bigger than everyone else around me and awkward. Now I look at those pictures and I'm like what was I thinking! Well I've always heard I was chubby from people or I need to lose weight and that's what fed that my entire life. I've even had trouble with eating problems before. But it hadn't been til lately that I am actually "fat". And people still go 'oh no your not'. Yes. I. am. I don't what the lie okay. Because I used to be skinny and self concious and needed that compliment, and because of those skinny girls digging for that compliment we think the response is 'oh no your not.'  Okay, I've seen my weight rise and rise and I can't get it to go down no matter what. Yes I'm not skinny anymore and I know those. No, that doesn't mean I'm ugly or whatever else we think attaches to weight gain. But I am definately chubby. I've always learned being on the other side of the table how painful it is to hear a skinny person talk about how bad they need to lose weight, because I mean if they think they need to lose weight, what do they think about you who are way bigger than them? I know they never mean it that way, that they really feel they need to lose weight (because I've been the tiny girl not getting she was tiny), but now being the bigger girl I know how painful it is to hear that. And I'm sorry for ever saying that. I wish I would have loved myself and not beat myself up like that one pound made all the difference. Because now I'm here and I can't lose weight and I can't fit my clothes and my family always bring up how big I am and the thoughts of how do I deal with this with no money for trainers or the right food, how do I not let what they say hurt me? How do I lose this? These thoughts plague me daily. And I'm sorry for never just loving myself..
So that was part of my morning. And after I cried over my weight. I got it together, got in the car, and drove to school. Once there I was 5 mins late and I tried to grab my bag to goggles for my experiment and the bag ripped! So now I'm late with a ripped bag and a purse that keeps falling off my shoulder. I'm a mess. I had pretty much given up on going to class but when I got in there I saw my teacher just ahead of me and I realized I could still make it!
So I made it to both classes today.

Then I ran my experiment. I had an awful headache and was so exhausted so I grabbed myself a  coffee. I ran into Sami, my best friend, who was on her way to my experiment so it was nice having someone to talk to. Today 6 people came and did my experiment. It's really frustating to try and get people to show up for this. I have wrote all kinds of people. Most ignored that I sent it, others say they are going to come and done. I have had 20 subjects so far and I need 60. It's so upsetting that people can't just take some time out of their day and sit for like 10 mins and do this to help me out. I have to do this to graduate! Well I supposed that karma will get them one day when they need people for something, or at least I can hope haha.

But on the flip side to that statement, I have to say those who have wrote and came in really just make me so happy they don't even know! To me it's such a blessing that they really came in there and helped me out and I just love them for it. It really warms my heart when I see those people come in! I'm so thankful for those people in me life. They are truly wonderful!

Well after that, I went home, toting all my stuff back across campus, stabled hallmark bag and purse falling off my shoulder, and a coffie on top of all this. Get in my car and take 10 mins to find a song I kinda wanna listen to (damn random on the Ipod, it never gets it right). Came home and thank goodness our landlord came over and picked the dead raccoon off the side walk. Poor baby was poisoned last week and he died in the road, he then at some point rolled over and put is little face on the side walk and stretched out his arm and died. It was very dramatic looking and very sad. POINT 1: If you are going to poison the raccoons, pick them up for goodness sakes! I mean it was kind of funny to see all the people struting down the street stop and now sure how to get around it, but it was sadder than anything else. If you have such a problem with them getting in the trash clean it up! Because I have a problem with it's dead body being outside my house! And pluse it got Missy all excited and we couldn't get her to go to the bathroom when she was outside because of it.
But then it got worse, so idiots put him on the sidewalk on his back, then proceeded to sprinkle potatoe chips all over him and then put cheetos in his mouth. POINT 2: Okay, you are NOT creative, you're an idiot. Thanks for blocking the entire sidewalk with something dead. I hope one day raccoons get to decerate your body. I think that's fair.
Anyway after that I couldn't stand it anymore and we asked our landlord to come pick him but because we had nothing to do with him. So bless him for picking that poor baby up and the sidewalk is now useable again!
AND! We got our first netflix dvd in the mail! How exciting! We just ordered it like Friday! I couldn't believe it was here already!
Then I took Misses out and some guy was watching me go up the steps so that freaked me out and I was afraid he'd follow me but luckly he didn't.
Then I did some dishes and cleaned. Because I ask Daniel to do somethings, like put the dishes in the sink or throw away your candy wrappers and he says okay and then he does not! He is going to get it when he gets home from Wal-Mart, which is where he is now working. haha

Anyway, I guess that's not a really exciting day but it hasn't been a total bore either. I don't know what else is going on today. Not much I assume. I just hope food is in order soon because I am hungry.

Oh! And 11 DAYS TIL DISNEY!!! I am getting more and more excitied everyday! I just can't wait to go down there!!!!

Well that's all I got haha.

Peace and Love,

Andie