Well here I am just a few hours before we leave to go down to Florda for a week with Daniel's Mom going along to help us out. And I am exhausted so I can sleep for a bit but as I sit here, I'm so nervous I feel sick to my stomach. We are going down there to look for apartments and jobs and all that good stuff so we can move down there in less than a month. I am excited to go, but it's so scary at the same time. I feel completely unprepared for this, but I know now's the time.
I've always felt that I was to go on and do something. I'm still not sure what that thing is but I really feel like Florida is the place I'm meant to be. There's a calmness to the idea, a comfort in the idea of being in the sun and the warmth on my skin. I feel like God is calling me there, that I will learn something there; maybe who I am or what I'm meant to be? But I feel it's there. It's felt like for so long that when I'm here it wasn't right, that I was supposed to go do something and I started to feel stagnant and wondering when I would feel like I'm living and doing what my purpose is. And I feel like it's coming and in May it will be here.
And that's really exciting, but that doesn't make it all not really scary. I'm worried about jobs. I know I'm a good worker and smart so I'm sure once I stop scaring myself that really won't be bad, but I'm worried none the less. I'm worried about moving down there. I hate that drive with a passion. I'm worried about money, meeting people, car insurance, health insurance, getting in with doctors, or that my body will give out on me, and then there's planning a wedding 16 hours away. It's all really scary stuff. And it's pretty horrifying to face. Even Daniel's scared, he's just better at dealing with it.
And the closer it gets the scarier it gets. It seems so big and different and I don't have a clue how to be ready when the time comes. But I guess that is what chance is, are we ever really ready and know what to do? I guess not.
I'm just hoping for the best. That this finally works out and I feel like I'm on the right path doing the right thing.
Prayers for all of this would be wonderful. For my health and a way to learn to cope so I can function, that I can find a job quickly, that we find a great apartment this week and that things do start falling into place. Prayers for this whole journey would be great.
Andie,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I know that I can't stay here in WV yet it's kinda scary to actually think about moving. But if you feel like this is where you are meant to go then you have to go. When I moved to FL it was hard but now looking back I am so glad I had that experience and I have learned so much. This is such a great step for you and Daniel. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck and Congrats on all your recent and up coming success!