I'm miserable. I hate Florida. Well that's not really true. I don't hate Florida. I love it for vacation! There are lots of great things to do and see...but it's expensive. And it's one thing when you are on vacation and you have saved up to spend that. But when you live down here? I've been to Disney and only because we worked there and got discounts. But I have gone to no other parks because they are unaffordable. Even with a Floridian discount it's 80, 90, 100 dollars a ticket! And we're broke. I'm going into the red. Min. wage is more but with bills and the price of things you lose it quicker than you make it. Right now I don't even know how I can pay for a wedding! Let alone trips to get back up there to plan things. And honeymoon? Forget it.
I do believe everything happens for a reason though. I hated West Virginia. I felt mistreated and like I didn't fit in anywhere and so alone like I didn't have a friend in the world. I thought all I wanted was an ocean and I didn't care for the mountains and the trees. The small town, all that was familiar, same events and fairs over and over again. I was sick of it!
And I was completely wrong.
I think I was meant to move. Daniel and I never said we wanted to stay in Florida forever. I say this because I feel some people will laugh at us and say we failed. No, we never said this was forever. We just felt we needed to go. And I think it was a learning lesson. We learned we love to travel. There are so many places we love and we want to see! And I still love the ocean; I'm a Pisces and will always have a need for water! But love of a place on vacation and living there are two different things.
I came down here and was at first enthralled by the palm trees right in my back yard and that ocean breeze. And then as time went on and seasons changed, or rather didn't change, it was a still hot and no leaves changed colors. I began to long for curvy back roads with trees on both sides with their beautiful leaves changing colors and their smell in the air as the autumn chill nipping at my nose and cheeks. And God I never thought I'd miss mountains so much in my life.
I learned I love to visit fast pace and exciting worlds with all their flash, but I want to go home to my home in the hills where things are familiar. I miss it all so much it hurts. I see all the festivals that are going on, the craft shows, the get togethers. Every time I wish I could be there! And I thought I was alone before, we have made no friends here. I haven't hung out with anyone in three months. And we have no one to ask. We are completely alone without a soul in the world but just ourselves. That's lonely. I mean there are all kinds of places to go out and hang at night...but why when it's just us? I miss my bridesmaids and all my others friends and going out to Applebee's or Mi Pueblos!
No we didn't make a mistake coming down here. We can still tell our friends and future children stories of our time in Florida (and where else the world may take us in the future) and we can say "Yes we went out and took chances and we lived." And that's a very important thing to me, to get to say in the end "I lived." And I know I can make that happen, even if it was for a short time, but it was enough time. It was exactly the time we needed for our life lesson that we now know without a doubt.
I'm a West Virginian.
I'm not a Floridian. I'll never be a Floridian. And where else I may go in life I'll never be them either. I was born and raised a West Virginian and now and forever I will always be a West Virginian. I'm proud of my state. I love my state. I love my mountains and my autumn leaves and my snow in the winter and spring flowers and hot summers at Blackwater Falls! I love rolling pastures attached to houses out in the country where children and dogs can run and play. I love the yearly fairs and festivals and I love being at them. I love that something more simple than all of this. And that mountain breeze. I can't wait to feel that mountain breeze again!
I'm a West Virginian and I want to go home!
"Come by the hills to the land where life is a song
And stand where the birds fill the air with their joy all day long
Where the trees sway in time and even the wind sings in tune
And the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done." <3
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